At least they had cheesecake. Lilah almost felt bad for the Sacher Torte and Beignets on the dessert menu. They were probably really good, but with absolutely zero knowledge on what the fuck they were, Lilah decided to play it safe and go for the one option that she recognized. When ninety percent of the attendees also ordered cheesecake, Lilah could only assume they felt the same way.
Once dinner had been cleared and tables were moved, the speeches and stories began. All of the bridesmaids and groomsmen each had their own tales to tell about either of the newlyweds, many of which ended up being far more... vulgar than the kind of stories this wedding venue was probably used to hearing. From Keiran meeting Bailey at the strip club where she used to work (as a bartender, not a stripper), to the time that Keiran accidentally shit his pants during a job interview but still got the job, the audience spent much of the time laughing.
Plus, holding hands with Henry the entire time only made it better. Worse, but better.
It threw her heart around her chest like a goddamned bouncy ball. Even now, sitting on the swinging bench, looking out at the sunset with no entertainment other than each other's company and the sound of music from the main hall, was blissful agony. Lilah knew that what happened next was entirely up to her, but she hated this choice.
She could choose to reject Henry, but that would destroy everything that had been built for years. She knew there was no way that they could go back to being 'just friends'. Not after this. If she didn't accept him, then their entire friendship may as well be dust in the wind. Not only that, Lilah wasn't sure if she would be able to live with herself. She wanted this just as much as Henry obviously did.
However, accepting Henry then made all of this real and with reality came risk. She knew that most relationships had ten-to-one odds of failing, which would be just as bad, if not worse than rejecting Henry outright. If they tried to make things work and fell apart because they turned out to be incompatible...
No matter which choice Lilah made, she knew there was a substantial chance that the two of them would end up separate. Lilah could either bite the bullet now, or risk getting shot by it later when it hurts a hell of a lot more.
Lilah had to strain to keep herself from crying. She hated this- every single moment of it. She couldn't let it show. Couldn't let Henry see the way it was tearing her to pieces. As long as she kept her composure, then that meant she could hold off on making this choice right now. She could enjoy the fruits of a potential relationship while leaving whatever risks for tomorrow's impossible decision.
Lilah could enjoy the way that Henry's hand was curled around her waist to pull her close. She could enjoy the way that Henry's breathing almost kept pace with her own. She could enjoy the way that Henry blushed when he asked if she wanted to dance after hearing a muffled announcement indicating an upcoming slow song.
Lilah greatly enjoyed holding Henry's hand as they walked back into the building together right as the song started. She greatly enjoyed gazing into his ocean-blue eyes while swaying with his hands on her hips. She greatly enjoyed the occasional, awkward way that her sneakers scuffed against his shoes since neither of them really knew what they were doing.
Most of all, she loved the way that they leaned in simultaneously and shared a long, slow, sweet kiss just like that one back in the car.
Lilah quickly learned why some people described kissing as 'breathless'. She had previously thought it was because those people had their lips locked together for so long that they had run out of oxygen by the time they pulled apart. No, it was because Lilah's heart had crawled its way so far into her throat that she couldn't conceive the idea of breathing until Henry's lips had parted from hers.
When she glanced over Henry's shoulder, Miss Jacobs was standing about a dozen feet away while holding direct eye contact. The older woman offered a smile and a wink before Lilah pulled Henry in for a second kiss dripping with just as much passion as the first.
For the bazillionth time this weekend, I could only marvel at how lovely Lilah felt in my arms. Particularly, the way that her arms were wrapped around my neck with mine on her waist as we swayed to the music. I gave a silent wince whenever I awkwardly stepped on one of her feet, but Lilah never paid it any attention. If anything, her smile only got brighter.
Even when the slow song ended and switched to a mixture of pop, rock, and a teeny amount of country, Lilah never made any move to quit dancing. Quite the contrary. Her eyes were gleaming brighter than they had ever been. It was clear neither of us knew how to properly dance to this kind of music, but I wasn't even sure if there was a 'correct' way. Singing along until both Lilah and I were hollering just as loudly as everyone else around us seemed to be a good start, however.
That was wonderful in its own way, too. When we were cuddling, kissing, holding hands, or all of the above, it was so wildly different than all of my previous experiences with my best friend. These last couple of days had turned everything up on its head. Almost all of our jokes, teasing and overall goofiness had been replaced by intimacy that I had no idea what to do with.
In this moment, with the party at full swing and the music blaring like a miniature concert, I could almost forget about all of that. I could look at Lilah singing along beside me and see her as the best friend I never wanted to lose, instead of the love I so desperately needed to spend the rest of my life with.
It hit me like a slap upside the face, so much so that I blinked when I finally realised what exactly it was that I wanted. I didn't want Lilah to simply remain as my friend- I needed more than that. However, I couldn't bear the thought of having her become a romantic lover if it meant losing what we had. I didn't want to trade the sass, rivalries, teasing, and casual interactions for kissing and intimacy. I wanted both.
I wanted her as my girlfriend and my best friend. Neither could work without the other.
So, when I saw Mom excuse herself and start walking out of the dining room, I did the same. To my surprise, she wasn't going towards the washrooms. Instead, she left the building entirely and took quick steps to the car.
I stayed back just enough to remain out of sight. The purpose of her trip made sense when I saw her open the passenger side door and reach into the glovebox. The bottle of Tylenol appeared in her hand when she stood back up, opened the lid, took out one of the pills, and swallowed it. When she screwed the lid back on, I saw her eyes flick over to me.
"Sorry, sweetie. I was just getting a bit of a headache."
"Nah, I get it. It's real loud in there."
"Were you coming for some Tylenol too?"
I shook my head. "No, I actually wanted to talk to you about something in private."
Her eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Is this a sitting or a standing conversation?"
"Sitting."
"Alright. Hop in and put that away." She tossed me the medicine bottle. She climbed into the drivers seat, I closed the glovebox after getting into the passenger side, and we both shut our doors. The music blaring from the dining hall all but vanished in the silence of the car.
"What's the business?" She asked.
"I need your help with Lilah."
"For...?" She tilted an eyebrow.
"Let me just preface this by saying you aren't going to like what you hear." I said.
Her face almost seemed like a mixture of curiosity and amusement. "I'm listening."
The floodgates opened.
"Lilah and I aren't actually dating. Now, before you say anything, let me explain. I said we were dating last year because you were always on my back about dating, so I just said it to get you to ease off. We've just been pretending to date this whole time in order to follow the lie that I told you, but now I actually want Lilah like that. I've had a crush on her for a long time, and now I think she's starting to like me back but I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, I really want to date her for real now, but I really, really don't want that if it means I lose her as a best friend. I want everything we used to have, just with all the extra stuff added in instead of replacing it, but I don't know how to do that and I don't want to risk ruining everything so-..." I took a deep breath when my lungs were completely devoid of air. "I need your help."
Mom was silent for several moments. Still, that amused curiosity persisted on her face. It was unsettling. For the ultimate reveal of my deception, I expected her to be much more upset.
"You want my help... to establish a romantic relationship with Lilah?"
"Yeah, but not just that." I sighed. "We've been kinda trying it out this weekend, and we've been really romantic and intimate and stuff, and it's amazing. I love her so much it hurts. But I also miss the way that we were back then, when we were just friends. I want to go to the movies and push her into the pool and tell offensive jokes to her, but I also want to hug her whenever she comes over, kiss her goodnight, and fall asleep with her in my arms."
"Then tell her that."
"What?"
"Tell her." Mom said. "If that's how you feel about Lilah, then tell her."
"What if she doesn't like me back?" I asked.
"Sweetheart, she likes you more than you could realise."
My heart swelled at the proposition. "Are you sure?"
"Positive. I know she likes you just like I knew you two were just acting out this entire time."
Just as quickly as it grew, my heart shrunk once again. "You knew? How?"
"A mother always knows. Now, go back inside, pull Lilah to a quiet place, and tell her everything you just said to me. She's probably been waiting for you to say something for a while."
I opened the door and got one foot out of the car before I turned back to Mom. My heart was in my throat. "So you're not angry? About the lie, I mean?"
Her smile sent a shiver down my spine.
"I never said anything of the sort. You and I will have a very long talk when we get back home, young man."
Screw cutting it with a knife. I could roll up the tension and play basketball with it.
"I'll go talk to Lilah." I said quickly. Mom smiled as we both stepped outside of the car and began walking back. It was no issue to find Lilah. All I had to do was look for the prettiest girl in the crowd.
In all seriousness, she was still easily noticeable. Not many of the women present were wearing dark blue dresses like hers, and absolutely nobody else was sitting down at a table in the corner while using a butter knife to carve a penis into the side of a large candle. I didn't even need to see it- Lilah left unsupervised in a fancy place like this? She was probably going to start carving a vagina into the table next.
She smiled when I sat down beside her but did not stop her work.
"Wow, that's quite generous with the length."
"Not really." She said. I raised an eyebrow.
"If he's that long limp, how big do you think he gets when he's hard?"
"He is hard." Lilah corrected. I could only wince.
"Really? With that kind of curve on it?"
"Mhm." She nodded.
"I think that's a certified medical condition."
"Oh yeah? Which one?"
"Erectus bendicus, otherwise known as Hung like a horseshoe."
Lilah grinned. "Sounds about right."
She brushed a lock of hair behind one ear. Before she could turn her attention back to her elegant artwork, I leaned in. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Somewhere quieter?"
Her eyes practically twinkled. "Ooh, pulling me away somewhere private? We'll just need to be careful- your mother might get mad if we smudge my makeup."
"I think she'll be more upset at what I'm gonna do to your dress." I joked. "Come on."
I led her by the hand outside of the building, back towards the swinging bench we had practically claimed earlier. Thankfully, there was still nobody here.
"You know, I don't think the swing can survive if you rail me on it. Even if it does, can you imagine the splinters?"
"Ha, ha." I sat. Lilah followed suit, turning so that she was facing me with one leg crossed over the other. Her lips instantly curled into a smile when I leaned forward to press them against my own. It was a quick, chaste connection that lasted but a moment, followed by a second similar kiss, and then a third. The fourth lingered for a few seconds longer before we both pulled back just enough that we were breathing the same air. My chest was pounding, but I had to do this.
"Lilah, I can't do this anymore."
The look on her face melted so quickly it almost shattered my heart. "What?"
"The act!" I clarified quickly. "I can't do this act. I can't pretend anymore."
She looked genuinely taken aback, stunned with what I could only imagine was heartbreak. It took a few moments before I realised that I still hadn't actually provided the clarification I intended.
"What I mean is, I don't want this to just be an act for this weekend. I don't want this to be an act at all. I... I want you, Lilah. I want to date you for real."
Her response was silence. It lasted for several moments before a small voice leaked from her lips. "So do I."
"You do?"
When she gave the tiniest nod, my heart could have exploded. However, that feeling shrivelled when she spoke again. "I just don't know if we should."
"What?"
She sighed, which I knew was a sign that she was about to hit me with some cold, hard facts.
"Nine in ten relationships fail. If we try this and it doesn't work out..." Her voice faltered until she managed to find it again. "I don't want to lose you."
Huh.
So that's why she never said anything.
"I don't want that either, and that's also part of what I wanted to say. I-" The words were surprisingly difficult to get out. "-I want to be in a real relationship with you, but I don't want it to replace what we had. I like having you as my best friend. I want you to stay as my best friend. I just want you to be my girlfriend at the same time."
She was quiet for several moments. "I want that, too."
"Then let's go for it."
"What if this doesn't work out. What if everything goes wrong and we break up?"
"We'll keep it casual." I said. "That way, we're just friends that also kiss every once in a while. It only becomes serious if we make it serious."
Like a sponge soaking water, some of the glint returned to Lilah's face alongside a subtle grin. "It'll be more than just kissing if this works out."
"Like Martin Luther King once said, 'You miss every shot you don't take.'"
"Ah, yes. One of my favourite quotes. Right beside 'One does not simply walk into Mordor', as spoken by Nelson Mandela."
"Damn straight." Our smiles became one when our lips met again. Despite nothing having physically changed, this one was different in so many ways. It felt like pride and success. It tasted like relief and the slight hint of her lipstick. When her hand rose to cup my cheek, her fingers rested upon my skin with a tingle of passion that was previously hidden. My own hand resided on her waist, feeling her smooth, soft skin through the fabric of her dress. Both of our other hands still had their fingers intertwined with the other and resting in the space between us- space that was slowly closing.
Lilah was leaning forward, scooching closer until she was all but sitting on my lap while the bench groaned its disagreement. We didn't listen. Our kissing remained at the surface level with no tongue (mostly), but the entire demeanor was quickly shifting to become much hotter and heavier. I pulled back through a shiver of electricity when I felt Lilah's teeth gently but firmly close down on my bottom lip.
"Ah, did you just bite me?"
"Maybe." She grinned. "What the fuck are you gonna do about it, Jacobs?"
"Oh, I'll show you."
I took the challenge and closed the distance between our faces. However, I didn't return my lips to hers. Instead, I kissed the edge of her mouth, then used soft, lingering pecks to trace a path down to her jawline. I continued towards her chin, then looped back around the other side where her jaw met her neck. Lilah breathed against me and moved her hair out of the way to make room for my smooches, which then trailed upwards. I had heard a lot about the ear being some kind of minor erogenous zone, so I went for it. I took it in between my teeth and gave a nibble. Lilah moaned and shivered against me.
Then the bench collapsed.
The creaking chain holding up my end of the bench, now having to support two people, came loose from wherever it was secured. Both Lilah and I were dumped onto the grass with all the grace and balance of a drunk baboon trying gymnastics. My surprised yelp was almost as masculine as Lilah's. The armrest of the bench snapped in between the ground and my back, and both of our heads knocked together in a decidedly uncomfortable way until we came to rest with her laying on top of me.
Lilah lifted her head, expression widened in surprise. Her thick hair fell around the both of our faces, framing us like a curtain. It was just the two of us. I ignored the twinge of pain in the side of my head where we impacted against each other and smiled. Lilah did the same with a small chuckle before bringing her head down in yet another kiss. This one was soft, sweet, and gentle- lingering only for a few moments before she slowly lifted away again.
"We should probably get up."
"Probably." I agreed.
Since Lilah was entirely on top of me, she stood first and extended a hand down to help me up. When we were both situated, she started raking her fingers through her hair while I brushed grass off my suit. We both turned at the sound of someone clearing their throat behind us.
"Did we interrupt something?" Gary chuckled. Mom stood beside him with a knowing smile.
"Nope. Just doing some improvised wrestling." Lilah chirped.
"What about that?" Mom tilted her head towards the bench, hanging from one end while the other rested on the ground with the armrest broken in three pieces beside it.
"It died from natural causes." I said.
"What natural causes?"
Lilah and I looked at each other, looked back at Mom and Gary, and spoke simultaneously.
"Gravity."
"Well..." Mom began, "since you two definitely didn't break this bench, we should probably leave before the venue starts looking for somebody to blame."
"We're heading out soon?" I asked. Mom nodded.
"It's getting late, and I don't want to risk this headache getting worse. I figured we could say our farewells to everyone and get going back to the hotel."
"Sure." I said. "Sounds good."
Goodbyes were brief, especially when we noticed some of the caterers going outside and examining the remains of the bench. I spent the entire time riding a high that refused to fade. Lilah was mine. Even something as simple as the car ride back didn't feel as strained as the rides previously. Whereas Lilah and I had been holding hands during the trips, it didn't feel like a necessity anymore. Instead, we spent the ride on our phones, occasionally leaning over and showing the other whatever stupid picture or video we found. It felt just like how we would do it any other time we were in the car before this weekend, with the exception of how Lilah would rest her head on my shoulder when she held her phone for me to see whatever stupid meme she was offering.
Contrary to the other trips this weekend, this ride was also over in a fraction of the time. It seemed like a minute was all that had passed by the time we pulled into the hotel parking lot. In even less time, we were standing outside our respective rooms.