Take the leap.
Lilah's words echoed through my mind. I instinctively knew that she wouldn't mind if I did take a step up, since she was so... blunt... previously. I bit the inside of my cheek hard enough to draw blood. I wasn't quite sure, but I swore that I could see Lilah's eyes sparkle when I wrapped an arm around her waist.
What was I doing? Feeling her pressed up against my side was doing terrible things to my heart. I wanted nothing more than to stay like that forever. Lilah felt so wonderful and soft. Not to mention, knowing that it was her I was pulling close- that was the forbidden cherry on top.
Despite the strain growing in my chest, I kept my hand curled around the side of her slender stomach. I even managed an awkward smile when Lilah swiped a butter-covered thumb on the tip of my nose.
I wanted to do it. I wanted it so badly that I could barely breathe. Her lips looked so inviting- like soft little pillows framing a smile that couldn't have been more perfect. Resisting the urge to lean in for that wicked kiss made it feel like something in my chest was under tension so high it would snap.
How did I let this happen? Just yesterday I promised myself that I wouldn't let her hurt me again. I wouldn't let Lilah burrow her way into my chest and carve another hole that took years to heal.
Yet, at what was literally the very first opportunity for failure, that promise had shattered. So much for my willpower to resist the charm of a succubus. I knew this would only end in flames. The moment this act ended, I would be left with a vicious wound in the shape of Lilah. I would be left gasping and sputtering, drowning in heartbreak as Lilah hurt me yet again.
Despite that, I couldn't bring myself to care about the consequences yet. That was something I would just have to deal with later. The glint in Lilah's chocolate eyes was far too intoxicating.
I didn't let go of her until the three of us were sitting down to eat. Even then, Lilah shifted her chair adjacent to mine. We sat so close we were practically wearing each other's pants. Every time I caught a peek at Mom, she just gave a curious smile.
It only got more complicated from then on. Thankfully, Mom went upstairs to do her classic quadruple-check over every single thing she packed into her suitcase. Unfortunately, that left Lilah and I alone on the couch while we waited for our departure time. I desperately hoped that Lilah wouldn't fixate on this weekend. Thankfully she seemed to stay her normal self, even if she was cuddled up into my side. It was such a casual display of affection that it almost made my heart flutter more than our hug when she entered the house. Unlike the hug, this lasted so much longer. There was nothing stopping Lilah from nesting into me as we scrolled through Netflix for anything that piqued our interest. As I expected, we ended up in the horror section.
"A Quiet Place?" I asked.
"Nah. We're only gonna be able to get through like half a movie before we have to go. I just want something I won't really get invested in."
"Saw?"
"That movie literally only gets interesting right when we would have to leave. Nope."
"Fine. What would you like to watch?"
Lilah rolled her eyes. "I don't fuckin' know. I already downloaded the first three seasons of The Walking Dead onto my laptop so we could watch it in the car and hotel. Got a headphone splitter and everything."
"We aren't in the car or hotel yet, so you need to pick something."
"Why do I need to pick? You have the remote."
"Yeah, and you've already vetoed both of my suggestions. You're the only one being stingy here, so you choose what you want to watch."
"Jesus fucking christ, dude." Lilah twisted her head up to glare at me. "If you don't pick a movie I'm just gonna start making out with you in order to keep myself entertained."
"I- uhh, huh?" I stammered. My cheeks went hot as they probably flushed with red.
"What? You don't think that making out would be interesting? It looks like a lot of fun."
"Umm..."
She grinned. "Plus, it would be a damn good way to convince your mom. She comes downstairs and I'm sitting on your lap while we're using each other's throats like straws? That'd fool me."
I could only tuck my chin with a blush, prompting a loud laugh from Lilah.
"Relax, Jacobs. I won't jump you. Unless you ask nicely, of course."
"What's so funny?" I heard Mom's voice call out from around the corner of the living room, along with her approaching footsteps. Faster than I could react, Lilah grabbed both of my hands and pushed them into her sides just below her ribcage. She started twitching and giggling against me.
"Stop, stop! Mercy! Please!"
It took far too long for me to realise that Lilah just provided both of us with a perfect cover. Still, I plastered my own mischievous smile and started scratching and tickling away. Her fake spasms and noises quickly became real just before Mom stepped into view. I pretended not to notice her presence and held tightly onto the squirming girl while assaulting her sides with quick and playful fingers. Mom remained quiet for several moments and watched on. I took the opportunity to really dig in and double down on my efforts. What were once gentle pushes to try and get me to stop my tickling quickly became genuine actions of desperation. Lilah's years of little league soccer made it difficult to get any good grip on her. Still, her breathing became ragged and strained as her face turned bright red. Tears were even streaming down her face.
"You two having fun?" Mom finally spoke, and I lifted my head to meet her gaze. Beneath me, I could see Lilah do the same. I never stopped tickling, and she never stopped fighting.
"Ah- agh! Help!"
"Henry, let her go."
I ceased my assault and lifted my hands in surrender. Lilah used the opportunity to scramble away on the couch. She drew several heaving breaths before leaning forward and punching me in the shoulder.
"Ow!"
"Asshole. You know I'm ticklish."
I didn't, actually.
"You two better not be acting up in the car. Traffic on the highway is already going to be bad enough, I don't need more distractions."
Lilah gave a smile that could make a corpse blush. "Unlike Henry, I can keep my hands to myself."
"Uh huh." Was Mom's response. "As long as you two behave during the wedding and in the car, you can do whatever you want anytime else."
I shuddered at the thought. I knew Lilah's mind took that remark as a challenge.
"Are we leaving soon, or..." I had to break the silence.
"Relax, Henry, it's only ten. We still have another hour before we need to leave. Do you mind if I sit here with you while we find something to watch?"
"Not at all. Sit down and relax all you like, Miss Jacobs."
"Please, sweetheart. Call me Patricia."
Lilah giggled sweetly. "No problem, Patricia. Now you-" Lilah turned to me. I gulped.
"You tickle me one more time and you don't get any more cuddles."
Before I could respond, she crawled back into her original position. If anything, she nuzzled up into my side even more than before. Most of her weight was on me, and her head was resting in the crook of my neck. Her black hair was so soft. The smell of apples was almost overpowering. She grabbed my arm and curled it around her so that my hand was resting on her stomach. Her shirt had even ridden up slightly, allowing my pinky to sit upon the bare skin just below her belly button.
"You've decided what we're gonna watch, right sweetie?"
I was gonna shoot her. After I shot myself, of course.
"Uh, yeah. Saw."
Mom sighed. "Just know that we're going to be leaving in an hour."
"That's okay." Lilah smiled. "I prefer the first half anyway. That part's more interesting."
Thankfully, the car ride was a lot less traumatic. I was worried that spending a few hours in an enclosed space with both Lilah and my mother would be the end of the world. It seemed as though Lilah decided to throw me a bone and play nice for the first time in her life. That was probably because of Mom's friend from work. She introduced him as he sat down in the passenger seat after we parked in front of his house. Based on the way that she hugged him on the front step before both of them returned to the car, I could imagine that he was a little bit more than just 'Gary From Accounting'.
Lilah and I introduced ourselves to Gary From Accounting, but that was really it. We placed Lilah's laptop on both of our knees to brace it, plugged in both of our headphones, and kept to ourselves for the ride. I could faintly hear Mom and Mr. Accounting talking in the front seats. Mom was constantly scratching the back of her neck- the same way I knew she did whenever she was nervous. Mom tried not to talk about him too much, but I knew that she and Gary had been spending quite some time together. She could only spend so many Tuesday nights 'going out for dinner' before it became obvious that she wasn't eating alone.
Good for her.
I simply focused on trying to enjoy the show with Lilah. It was significantly harder than it had any right to be, because of the way she held my hand over the dividing cupholder in between us. For the entire ride. As in, the entire ride. From the instant that our doors closed to the moment we parked outside the hotel, she did not let go of my hand once- not even when we parked outside of Gary's house. If she switched the laptop to the next episode, took a sip of her drink or grabbed a snack, she always used her right hand since her left was firmly grasping mine. I could only imagine how gross it must have felt for her. My palms were sweating so badly that trying to squeeze between our intertwined fingers could very well have felt like a trek in the Florida wetlands.
When we finally parked, both Lilah and I used our free hands to take off the headphones. She smiled at me and her eyes glittered like pools of melted chocolate. There were a few flecks of blue in her irises that I had never seen before. Granted, I had never looked particularly closely at her eyes- that was probably to avoid the fluttering butterflies trapped in my stomach. I hated holding her hand and staring into her eyes. It felt like the cheesiest and most cliche romance movie ever made. It was the same thing that happened in all those stupid chick flicks. They lock eyes and the guy realizes that he had been in love with her all along and becomes hopeless until she finally said 'yes'. It was the most overused, pointless, and stereotypical trope ever made.
And yet it was painfully correct. Even more so than when the two of us were buttering toast, the simple act of us holding hands and looking at each other made every single other sensation in the world fade away. Every neuron in my brain was firing warning signals, screaming at me to let go and turn away. To admit to Mom that I was lying about the relationship. However this ended would be way worse than if I just cut my losses and ran.
I leaned in and kissed her.
There was no word that could describe it. Perfect was too tacky. Amazing wasn't quite right. Wonderful just didn't do it the justice it deserved. What surprised me was just how simple it was. I never expected that kissing someone would be so... plain. There wasn't any feeling about it that was special. It was just like kissing the back of my hand, if a little bit softer. What made the act so unbelievable was simply the knowledge of who I was doing it with. Knowing that it was Lilah pressed up against my lips in what was arguably the most intimate of acts. My very first experience of the sort, and it was with none other than the best friend I had been in love with for longer than I could remember. The one person on the planet that I couldn't have under any circumstance. The one person who made it clear way back then that she wasn't interested. Sure, she was very obvious that she was willing to take this act as far as she needed to, but as for what happened next? There was no telling what kind of aftermath would be present when the dust settled.
The forbidden fruit never tasted so sweet.
"Ahem."
Mom cleared her throat from the front seat. I abruptly pulled away and opened my eyes. I watched Lilah do the same. Her irises flashed with something I had never seen before. For the first time in my life, I saw Lilah genuinely taken aback. She was uncertain. Just as quickly as it appeared, that shaken expression was wiped clean by her typical grin. Lilah leaned forward and returned her lips to mine. It was only for a moment, but that second kiss felt entirely different. With the first, I could tell that I had broken through whatever mask Lilah was wearing as part of this act for my mother. No doubt I had screwed all of this up. At least it was obvious that Lilah was going to hold out for the duration of the wedding. Unfortunately, I had no faith that things were going to be the same after this was all said and done.
Lilah flashed a pearly smile and let go of my hand. "Come on, let's go."
"Henry and I can grab the bags." Gary coughed. "How about you ladies get us checked in and we'll meet you by the elevator?"
With that, Lilah and Mom walked off. Lilah had her backpack and Mom her purse. Everything else was stuffed into the four suitcases in the trunk. Gary and I just looked at each other, looked at the suitcases, looked back at each other, and gave a simultaneous sigh.
"I was generous with my packing and my suitcase is still half the size of your mother's." Gary chuckled. He was downright average for his height, which still meant he was a few inches taller than me. In fact, 'average' was the perfect word to describe almost everything about the forty-something year-old man. Brown eyes, short but well-kept brown hair, a casual shirt and jeans, and the demeanour of a very laid-back doberman. All in all, if someone were to place him in a crowd, it would probably be the hardest game of Where's Waldo I'd ever played.
"Mom's always been... yeah."
Gary shrugged and hefted the large luggage from the trunk with obvious strain. "Call me crazy if you want, but I like it. She should be the one working in accounting, not me. Have you seen the way she organizes her desk? If you open her drawer, it's sorted left to right; paperclips, staples, post-its, pens, pencils, erasers, white-out, and then her notepad. I've never seen someone so... together."
"You're crazy." I said.
"Are you okay with this, by the way? With your Mom and I?"
I nodded and hefted mine and Lilah's luggage from the car. "Yeah. She really likes you, so you're alright in my book."
"You think so?" Gary asked.
"Positive. I know her tells. She's crazy about you, man."
Gary closed the trunk. "Good to know. Speaking of which, you certainly showed me up just now."
"How so?"
"Are you kidding? I've seen military veterans return home with less affection than that kiss."
My cheeks immediately went red. Gary just laughed. "Hey, don't worry about it. It's nice to see young love in action."
"They're probably wondering what's taking us so long." I said quickly.
"Alright, alright." Gary From Accounting smiled. "Let's go."
Five minutes later, I was awkwardly trying to shuffle both the suitcases through the thin doorway while Lilah laughed and held the door open for me. About twenty feet to the side, Gary was doing the same. We both shared another exasperated look before eventually squeezing our way inside the respective rooms. It was a very nice but simple room. Beige walls, two beds, a dark wood dresser, a large TV and an attached bathroom. I hefted both of our bags onto one of the beds right before Mom appeared in the doorway beside Lilah.
"Alright, you two. We've got a dinner reservation at six, but we don't need to leave for another two and a half hours. I assume that you two just want to hang out at the hotel until then?"
"Yeah." Lilah answered for both of us. "We had to pause the episode halfway through. We were probably just gonna chill and keep watching. Why, were you and Gary gonna do something?"
Mom nodded. "We were going to take a bit of a walk and see where everything is. We'll be back before we need to leave for dinner."
"Have fun." I chirped.
"If you need anything, just call."
"I will, Mom. Go enjoy your walk."
Mom nodded again, scratched the back of her neck, nodded a third time, and smiled before turning away. Lilah closed the door. "Man, she was blushing like Julia when she asked Tavel to prom."
"Listen, Lilah- about earlier."
A look flashed across her face. "What about it?"
"I shouldn't have done that." I shook my head. Lilah's eyebrows raised.
"Why not? It's all part of the act, right?"
"No- I mean, yes- I mean... ugh." I slumped down onto the bed and held my head in my hands. Lilah slowly walked forward and sat beside me. Her presence only made the feelings more complicated but I had to fight through it.
"You're my best friend, and I don't want to ruin what we have. I put us in this stupid position and I'm sorry. That kiss was too far."
Lilah rolled her eyes. "Dude, I've basically been screaming at you to take this as far as you need to. I sent you nudes. I could feel your dick pressing into me for the entirety of breakfast. If we're pretending to be a couple for this wedding, I don't want to half-ass this shit. Hell, I'll fuck you right now if it means you get less awkward."
I gulped. "I-it's not weird?"
"Of course it's weird!" Lilah punched me in the arm hard enough that I winced. "We've been best friends since kindergarten!"
My shoulders slumped in defeat. Lilah leaned into me. "But being best friends means that we help each other with anything, no matter how weird it is. Granted, I figured that I would be helping you hide a body before I pretended to be your girlfriend, but beggars can't be choosers."
We sat there for several moments before Lilah twisted her head up and locked her eyes into mine. Sooner than I could do anything to resist, she pushed just a few inches vertically so that our lips met for the third time that morning. It wasn't as quick as the kiss that she initiated before, but not nearly as passionate as the one that I gave her. It was a slow, simple, and sweet connection that only lasted for a moment. When Lilah pulled back, she did so with a smile and a flush of red in her cheeks.
"Just because we're pretending doesn't mean we can't enjoy it."
"What about after the weekend- after we get back?"
Lilah almost, almost seemed disappointed. "That's up to you, Jacobs. It's also up to you to decide what we're doing next."
"It is?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. You have to decide if we're gonna keep watching Walking Dead or if we're gonna fuck."
"Lilah!"
She laughed at my horrified embarrassment- something that was happening far too often recently. "Red face, tucking in your chin, all signs are there. Like I said earlier- you are way too awkward about this whole thing, and that won't convince anyone. If you tense up or lose your composure, then one kiss won't be enough to convince your mom."
I tried to find words, but my efforts were nullified by Lilah grabbing the hem of her sweater and lifting it. I was foolish enough to think that she was just getting a little too warm- that was until I saw the bare skin of her stomach get revealed as her shirt came with it.
"Woah, what are you doing?"
When she pulled both her shirt and hoodie off over her head, she shrugged. She was wearing a simple white bra but was already moving to unclasp the back.
"You've seen them before. What's the big deal?"
She dropped her bra onto the bed, and I was greeted for the second time by the lovely sight of her shapely, supple breasts. This time was so much better because now they weren't on my phone screen. They were right in front of me, rising and falling with each of her gentle breaths. The red on her face only deepened.